Happiness may be universal, but its source is unique to every individual, find yours today!

 Some time ago, I was at the burial ceremony of a friend’s mother. The guy lives in the UK, but the burial was in Benin. It was a big event, and I am sure they must have spent quite a bit of money in the execution.

I arrived for the wake (or so I thought) but the burial was actually on that day, not the wake. So essentially I missed the burial, but I didn’t miss the party that happened thereafter.

At about 6pm as we sat with our friend, musicians were playing, people were drinking and eating, and other people were dancing or were just milling around the place. The dead was already forgotten. No one remained who was still crying for her!

Anyway, my friend had built some sort of mausoleum for the parents (both are now late), and part of it had all the items that they cherished during their lifetime. Included were old TVs, transistor radio, torch light, frying pan, mortar and pestle, radio set, etc. etc. It was very touching to me, and I made a mental note to try and find all those old things my mum liked (don’t know if there is anything remaining of whatever old things she liked sef, laffs).

But while we were there, I took a sneak towards where we sat, and I saw some half-witted local joker parrying our drinks away from where we sat. In his mind, he was doing it so expertly and he was sure no one had seen him. I was looking at him as he walked stealthily (in his own eyes) towards the gate and off he went. I saw him through the opening of the gate jubilating with a few of his friends as they were drinking half empty cans of malt drink and coca cola.

At this moment, a thought came bubbling up in my mind. I thought, “Everybody here is happy, but they each had different and possibly distinctly unique reasons for their being happy”.

Take the guy who stole our drinks; that must have made him very happy. He must have felt fulfilled and perhaps that is the part that he enjoyed most from all the money spent on the burial party.

There was also this lady who was dancing like tomorrow would never come. All the time I was there, she was on the dance floor, dancing some really difficult Bini dance styles. I am sure she would wake up tomorrow with some serious sourness. Sometimes people sprayed her money, but I realised it was not about the money. She was just dancing and enjoying herself. She was just so happy. She is probably not even related to the dead woman or any of her children. She is what we call ‘Mogbo Moya’ or gate crashers. But she was perhaps the happiest in that gathering. Her happiness came from the dancing and perhaps from the money she was given, or perhaps even from both, but she was happy!

Then I looked at my friend, he was beaming and in high spirit because most of his friends came for the burial. For him, that was his own happiness… not minding the damage the burial has done to his credit rating for some time to come.

Other people there must have been happy that they had so much to eat and drink. Yet others were happy because they were able to get a bucket or handkerchief or whatever other oddity was being given as souvenir.

The point I am making here is that these people were all happy, even if momentarily. The thing about happiness is that it brings out the same feelings in everyone, but the source or the reason for the happiness for all these people are different. What makes us happy is always different from person to person.

There may be war in the land; famine in the community; there may be hardships, serious lack and desperate needs, but different people are happy at different times for different reasons, so even though happiness is general, what makes one happy is unique to one.

Find happiness today in whatever makes you happy. I know there are so many things you can’t control, but you can probably determine to be joyous. It doesn’t have to come from things, or from having plenty of it or not. Happiness should be a life long search, and even in the middle of dire conditions, you can still have joy. Determine to have it. An hour wasted in bitterness, strife, contention or sadness is a wasted hour. It can’t be recovered. The source of your happiness may not be always be something that makes you laugh all the time, or gay or free spirited. The state of being joyous perhaps even in your spirit is what matters.

Happiness is like wisdom. Those who find it live by it, and they live a very good life. I know a very good source of happiness. I am lucky to have found the source. I found it in my salvation and my relationship with my creator. My happiness comes from knowing and doing the work He has sent me to do. My happiness comes from all the people He has surrounded me with to help me with the work of living and doing his will, whether or not they are good people, or momentarily terrible people. Thus whatever happens, the joy that He has given me is so real, and I can live on a dose of that daily. That does it for me! It will also do it for you if you try it today. Shalom!